Kob Is Gone

The last week of my life has been utter madness. Two hours ago, Kob and I said farewell at SeaTac Airport. Our last meal together was a rotten deli sandwich at some anonymous airport bistro. The walk to his terminal was really difficult. I just collapsed into tears, and more tears came with each step forward. We stood holding each other, sobbing, dripping snot, our eyes red. We must have been quite a sight to the other passersby. Especially the goodbye kisses, which were as sweet as they were painful.

It was the culmination of hours of stressful and intense time, as I helped him clean his apartment, get rid of stuff, and try to keep his head and mine above water.

In this past week, I find myself seeing Kob in a new light. He is very like a little child. Very passive, and when faced with tough decisions, he tends to collapse like a house of cards.

This childish quality, which can be charming, is frustrating when I have called upon him to make adult decisions. He just can't do it.

For example, after I thought we had discussed the whole idea of me visiting Thailand and *possibly* moving there in the future, Kob now has backpedalled, and told me repeatedly to "forget the fairy tale, and be realistic." It is clear that he loves me very much, but when it comes down to it, he is TERRIFIED at the idea of living together. "We would have too many conflicts," is his major reason. Kob is so conflict-avoidant that he has let people walk all over him and take advantage of him.

This morning, his landlords came by to make the final inspection. Classic Good Cop/Bad Cop duet: one is very pleasant and says nothing, the other is a fucking bully. The bully decided to intimidate Kob with a very harsh, Marine drill instructor-style verbal abuse and insult regimen. I stopped him cold and told him he had to treat Kob better. The guy was clearly intent on not giving Kob his deposit back. In the man's eyes, Kob was just some timid little Asian dude who couldn't speak English and was a pushover.

After all the fucking time and sweat and labor I'd put into cleaning that apartment, NO WAY was I going to let this peanut-dicked Napoleon get away with his shit. I stood up to him and told him off. In the first place, they came 40 minutes before the appointment time. We were not ready. I told them they had to leave and come back in an hour.

In that time, we got Kob's apartment empty and fucking spic and span. When the landlords came back, their tails were between their legs. The bully was completely cowed and submissive. And Kob got his check.

There is much more to write, and I will follow up to this post. I've had 15 hours of sleep in the last 4 days, and I have to take a nap now.

If you have a moment, please think a good thought or say a prayer for my sweet Kob, that he may reach his homeland comfortably and safely. Thank you.